


the saddest loss of all

by Anonymous



Category: Poirot - Agatha Christie
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, Deliberately Bad Fanart, Gen, moustache loss, not the fic you're looking for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:35:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will not Death, who robs us of so much, leave us at least the comfort of our ghostly facial hair? The answer may surprise you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	the saddest loss of all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kef/gifts).



The ghost of Poirot is the worst ghost of all

he doesn't rattle chains or say wooooooo he just stands in the hall

or the coffee shop au or wherever life has led

you, bearing the absence of his moustache like a severed head

Wherever on earth you go, he appears in that place

waiting for you to say, Poirot wtf happened to your face

 

Inspector Colonel Sanders or whatever that guy's name was

Asked me to write a new story for the Penguin Crime Omnibus

But the moment our plucky typist commenced to tap her

Smith Corona, Poirot's ghost appeared, eggish and dapper

O horror of that hairless lip no reason can erase!

wtf Poirot! I cried aloud, what happened to your face??

 

Stachless ghost of Poirot, what comfort can our poems give?

what fic can quench this desert like a mighty Hair Restorative

or knit from airy nothingness the strands of mere existence

into a moustache worthy of your post-mortem persistence?

O ashes all our purposes, and dust our last embrace!

so we say again, wtf Poirot wtf happened to your face

 

 

 

O sing us a song of the baldest bereftrence

For death is a barber that asks not your preference

Poirot is divided by death the insidious

from the stache about which he was once so fastidious

I did not write the post-death fic you asked for, dear recipient

For the loss of Poirot's moustache was a grief far too significant

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 


End file.
